I know I've posted about the kids and my babysitting sagas. Well, I've hit my limit with the mom. I don't get the common courtesy of being told when she doesn't need me 95% of the time. Yesterday was a perfect example.
I'm all set to watch the kids. Even ready to go before they get off hte bus. Have I been told that the mom's boyfriend is now watching them on Thursdays? No. Not at all. Not even given an indication. I find out by going up to the car and the mom ("J") rolling down her window and asking me if I wanted a ride down to the shop. Today when I'm talking to her mom, her mom mentions something about the kids being busy this weekend. THat I might want to call "J." I've called "J" and left her a message knowing I won't hear from her before I leave for knitting in the morning even though I said in the message it's ok to call me when she gets out of work and wake me up.
I've hit the point that I'm going to tell "J: that I'm going to go on in my life and make plans. If she needs me, to give me 24 hours notice minimum and I'll watch the kids unless it's a weekend I'm going to my parents. On those weeks though I will make sure I have other arrangements set up though. Am I being fair? This happens so many times, me not getting the courtesy of being told. Or am I just being a frustrated person.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Kids!!!
I'm on the verge of quitting babysitting the 10 "C" and 13 "N"year olds. I'm actually at the pint of issiung an ultimatium. This is what's gone on the past couple weeks to cause me to get to this point.
One Wednesday a couple weeks back I get Nand C off the bus from school. Everything goes fine at first. That is till they go outside, play, and I go to the bathroom. In the couple minutes I was in the bathroom they start to fight outide. N comes in gets the phone and calls his grandmother instead of getting me. That issue gets resolved.
Not 10 minutes later they are in the kitchen and I hear C yelling at N to get away from her. I go to find out whats going on and C says that N went to hit her with the Wiffle ball bat. N says he was playing with the dog. Whatever the deal...why does he have the bat in the house. Also C is on the counter away from him and the dog is away from him too. I tell N to give me the bat. He says "NO." I'm now in the middle of the kitchen and mad at him and the way he's talking to me (not new for him, but new for him to me). I look at C and tell her to go into the living room. I tell N to give me the bat again and he refuses so I take it from him and tell him to get in the office, and announce that noone is going out to play. He says he doesn't have to listen to me and walks outside. I've had it and call his grandfather. In the meantime their mom calls and I tell her what's going on. She gets there and picks up the kids.
It's now 3 days later and I have the kids for the night. N's already in a bad mood. I'm having a hard time as I'm dealing with the new's of my cousin's baby's loss. N and C's mom leaves for work. Not 5 minutes later N goes into C's room and get's her game system and brings it into her system. They start fighting over it. I try to end it with a couple options as I don't know what the rule is as to where it is supposed to be. Yet again N gets nasty with me. I call his mom to find out the rule and she says to take it out of both their rooms. Things escalate, N won't give it to me and his mom has to call N's grandfather. Thankfully the takes N for the night. In the meantime I get the game system by rtemoving his hand from it and and getting threatened by N.
Which brings us to tonight. Before I even get there tonight to watch the kids I get yelled at and N is off the wall. I'm in tears and an anxious stressed out wreck. I actually had to tell the kids grandmom that I couldn't handle it tonight. Between the kid being so wriled up, knowing I was going to be left with him in that kind of mood, and me being yelled at for no reason, I just couldn't take it. I was an emotional wreck. Which leads to my ultimatium. Either the kid goes back on his medication (which he needs) and striaghtens out his act, or I quit watching them.
One Wednesday a couple weeks back I get Nand C off the bus from school. Everything goes fine at first. That is till they go outside, play, and I go to the bathroom. In the couple minutes I was in the bathroom they start to fight outide. N comes in gets the phone and calls his grandmother instead of getting me. That issue gets resolved.
Not 10 minutes later they are in the kitchen and I hear C yelling at N to get away from her. I go to find out whats going on and C says that N went to hit her with the Wiffle ball bat. N says he was playing with the dog. Whatever the deal...why does he have the bat in the house. Also C is on the counter away from him and the dog is away from him too. I tell N to give me the bat. He says "NO." I'm now in the middle of the kitchen and mad at him and the way he's talking to me (not new for him, but new for him to me). I look at C and tell her to go into the living room. I tell N to give me the bat again and he refuses so I take it from him and tell him to get in the office, and announce that noone is going out to play. He says he doesn't have to listen to me and walks outside. I've had it and call his grandfather. In the meantime their mom calls and I tell her what's going on. She gets there and picks up the kids.
It's now 3 days later and I have the kids for the night. N's already in a bad mood. I'm having a hard time as I'm dealing with the new's of my cousin's baby's loss. N and C's mom leaves for work. Not 5 minutes later N goes into C's room and get's her game system and brings it into her system. They start fighting over it. I try to end it with a couple options as I don't know what the rule is as to where it is supposed to be. Yet again N gets nasty with me. I call his mom to find out the rule and she says to take it out of both their rooms. Things escalate, N won't give it to me and his mom has to call N's grandfather. Thankfully the takes N for the night. In the meantime I get the game system by rtemoving his hand from it and and getting threatened by N.
Which brings us to tonight. Before I even get there tonight to watch the kids I get yelled at and N is off the wall. I'm in tears and an anxious stressed out wreck. I actually had to tell the kids grandmom that I couldn't handle it tonight. Between the kid being so wriled up, knowing I was going to be left with him in that kind of mood, and me being yelled at for no reason, I just couldn't take it. I was an emotional wreck. Which leads to my ultimatium. Either the kid goes back on his medication (which he needs) and striaghtens out his act, or I quit watching them.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Wow
I havent't talked to my biological mom in 4 years next month. I've had a lot of anger towards her. Way too much to get into here. You'd have to had known me along time to know all the anger. My anger is the reason that I took to calling her the "Egg Donor." Well today that all changes. She is no longer the "Egg Donor" but Mom. To keep from confusing people though here I'll be saying "Mom Debbie" so that you wont be getting confued between her and my step-mom (Mom). So, what happened?
A combonation of things got this ball rolling. A couple weeks ago I heard the song "Mother and Child Reunion." It got me thinking and over the past couple weeks getting back in touch with my Mom Debbie has been on my mind off and on (more on than off). Also somewhere in the past 48 hours my feelings softened incredibly. I think the death of my cousins baby had something to do with it.
SO today I had DBT. When we were reviewing one of the skills (we review 1 a week) the notion came into my head again. So when it came time for "Skills Coaching" where someone brings up a topic that they need help with I brought the topic up.
We spent a good amount of the group working on this and when we were done it ended up that I was going to do the pros and cons of a few different tactics. I was then going to meet with my therapist over what I came up with next week.
Well somewhere between this afternoon and evening that all changed. I did do the pros and cons in my head and decided to call my Mom Debbie. We spoke for about an hour. It went great. Then I called Nanny (Grandmother, I've called her Nanny ever since I was a toddler). That went great too. I'm happy about doing it and just wish I came to my senses earlier.
So, the "Egg Donor" is now "Mom Debbie"
A combonation of things got this ball rolling. A couple weeks ago I heard the song "Mother and Child Reunion." It got me thinking and over the past couple weeks getting back in touch with my Mom Debbie has been on my mind off and on (more on than off). Also somewhere in the past 48 hours my feelings softened incredibly. I think the death of my cousins baby had something to do with it.
SO today I had DBT. When we were reviewing one of the skills (we review 1 a week) the notion came into my head again. So when it came time for "Skills Coaching" where someone brings up a topic that they need help with I brought the topic up.
We spent a good amount of the group working on this and when we were done it ended up that I was going to do the pros and cons of a few different tactics. I was then going to meet with my therapist over what I came up with next week.
Well somewhere between this afternoon and evening that all changed. I did do the pros and cons in my head and decided to call my Mom Debbie. We spoke for about an hour. It went great. Then I called Nanny (Grandmother, I've called her Nanny ever since I was a toddler). That went great too. I'm happy about doing it and just wish I came to my senses earlier.
So, the "Egg Donor" is now "Mom Debbie"
Monday, April 16, 2007
All was going fine until after I got back from knitting. That's when everything went to hck in a handbasket and I'm still trying to put myself back together. I call him my cousin (he's Mom's sister's son) and his wife have been expecting a baby. The baby was due Sunday. I made a blanket for the baby. Well, the baby died. One day everything is going along nice and smoothly. The due date is less than a week away. Everything goes perfectly fine at the doctor's office. THe next day the baby is dead. He didn't even get to be born alive. How cruel can life be? Give me all the rationale you want, it's not going to help right now. Plus I had to babysit and the 13 year old was being a pain int the butt. I'm at the point of telling his mom that if he gets out of line like he has been this past week a few more times she can find herself a new sitter. I'VE HAD IT WITH KIDS THAT THINK THEY CAN TALKBACK AND GET AWAY WITH EVERYTHING!!!Yes I'm in a bad mood. Don't even get me going on the other people at the electric company today (customers not employees).
Mood:beyond irate
Mood:beyond irate
Sunday, April 15, 2007
weekend sucked
my cousin and his wife's baby died. need i say more. the worst part is it died right before it was born. it was 3 days from it's due date.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
What a past couple weeks
It's been a little busy here to say the least. I've finally gotten over being sick. That took a wonderful month. It's still been busy here. I'm babysitting 1 afternoon and 2 nights a week. Plus my group, advisory board, it's committees (I've joined 2 Ad Hoc committees), and all the other things in life.
Babysitting is going along smoothly for the most part. With the kids at least. I say the kids bit because last weekend I had a little problem with the adults downstairs. I had only 1 of the kids as the other one was spending the night elsewhere. The child (10 yrs) and I were asleep and I wake up hearing slamming doors, yelling and whatnot downstairs (I watch the kids at their home). I go down and politely ask the people downstairs to quietdown as I have a child upstairs trying to sleep as well as I am. Also it's midnight. Half an hour later they're still going at it and throwing things. I've had it and go down to tell them that the cops are being called. It's reached beyond rediculious. I'm begged not to. The guy across the hall tells them that if they make 1 more noise he'll call the cops. A fistfight breaks out within seconds so the guy and I both call the cops. I've also told the child who they woke up to get her things together. I was taking her to my place. THankfully her mom leaves her car for emergencies. Apparently when the cops showed up some people ran, but the people that didn't got mouthy with the police and ended up getting arrested. Hopefully things quiet down and I adjust to the new schedule soon. Yeah it's been 2 months and I still haven't adjusted to not being home 2 nights a week. At least the kids are good when they're with me and I can knit while there.
Babysitting is going along smoothly for the most part. With the kids at least. I say the kids bit because last weekend I had a little problem with the adults downstairs. I had only 1 of the kids as the other one was spending the night elsewhere. The child (10 yrs) and I were asleep and I wake up hearing slamming doors, yelling and whatnot downstairs (I watch the kids at their home). I go down and politely ask the people downstairs to quietdown as I have a child upstairs trying to sleep as well as I am. Also it's midnight. Half an hour later they're still going at it and throwing things. I've had it and go down to tell them that the cops are being called. It's reached beyond rediculious. I'm begged not to. The guy across the hall tells them that if they make 1 more noise he'll call the cops. A fistfight breaks out within seconds so the guy and I both call the cops. I've also told the child who they woke up to get her things together. I was taking her to my place. THankfully her mom leaves her car for emergencies. Apparently when the cops showed up some people ran, but the people that didn't got mouthy with the police and ended up getting arrested. Hopefully things quiet down and I adjust to the new schedule soon. Yeah it's been 2 months and I still haven't adjusted to not being home 2 nights a week. At least the kids are good when they're with me and I can knit while there.
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