This means a great deal to me. As much as if not more than Knitting (for those that know how knitting and I am).

I used to Self Injure and have recovered. It's not easy. Approximately 2 million people in the United States self injure annually. It recognizes no barrier. In other words, It's not limited to any one group of people.

Globally those that know about Self Injury Awareness Day recognize it on March 1. The thing is no national governments officially recognize it. As far as I know only the states of New Mexico and Connecticut recognize it.

Public awareness is one way to shed light on this growing problem. In an effort to reduce the stigma and help reduce some of the myths. It can also help those who self injure along with their family and friends get and/or find treatment. Such treatments can be: individual and/or group therapy, medications, or support groups, just to name a few. That is what we want in getting National recognition with this day.

If you want to help would you please sign the petition here.

Thank You so much. Like I said it means a lot to me. My friends and I are the ones behind this petition.

If you have questions you can comment here or email me at: CTSelfInjuryAwarenessProject at gmail dot com

Allergies...Ugh!

I don't know what is in bloom. Whatever it is though....Please go away! My allergies are off the wall. So much that my nose hurts on the inside! I feel like death warmed over. I can't go 5 minutes without using a tissue.

Apparently I don't look so hot either. People today have even been asking me if I'm ok because I don't look like I do.

I'm not sick, just miserable with allergies. Someone get rid of whatever is blooming....PLEASE!!!

New Favorite Artist

I have a new favorite artist. His name is Josh woodward. You have got to check out his site. It's www.joshwoodward.com. He's great.

Click here to create your own painting.

Confused

I'm so confused and lost. I mentioned in a previous post about my being at a crossroads in my mental health. I'm changing providers, and it's a big change for me. Well, I took the next step today.

I had my intake appointment at my new provider. It felt so weird. I know it's the right move and it's the right time. It just feels so strange. It's like I'm leaving home. Actually it was easier to move out into my own place. I'm just so nervous about it.

The lady that did my intake was really great though. I'll be seeing her next Monday to finish it up. I also know I'm going to a good place. It has a good reputation.

Sigh...I always knew this time would come. It's here and I just have to get through it. I will too. One thing mindfully. That's what I have to keep in mind.

Well, this time next month I'll have been discharged from the Local Mental Health Authority (LMHA) most likely. My therapist is starting the paperwork today or tomorrow. It's a bitersweet happening. I'll still have a prescriber for my meds and a therapist. I'll aso still have my RH case manager.

Still though. SMHA (the LMHA) is the place that has had me the longest. THey've been where I've gotten my DBT group, meds, and therapy. Without them I don't know where I'd be right now. Six years ago I started a downward spiral with my mental health. They're the ones that caught me and kept me from falling through the cracks.

THat's why it's so bittersweet for me to be leaving. It means I'm doing well. I don't need that intensive of a level of care. Honestly haven't needed that level for a while. They've been holding on to me though. It's hard though because it means I'm leaving those that know me best. They know my warning signs for a crisis as well as if not better than me. I'm going to have to break new providers in. Once I leave it also means I can't have my therapist again. That's all going to be tough. That's life though.

Guess I'm going to have to figure out how to deal. This will definitley put my skill to the test.

Going on a Playdate and I have no kids

Ok so how does one go on a playdate when they have no kids. Simple. THe other 2 moms are knitters and you don't mind being around the kids.

Let me backup. I have no car. One of my knitting friends is on vacation and the other is a SAHM. My friend on vacation put the idea of a playdate out there earlier this week. I agred to the idea. Last night I had an email talking about getting together today. I was up for it. So my friend that was on vacation picked me up on the way to our other friend's house and we all got together. The kids had a playdate while we got to knit. Life is good.

Even better is that my friend Kristy got to move on to the next round of Jukebox Hero. YAY Kristy!!!!

So Cool

This is So Cool

http://thekidnappedcanopener.blogspot.com/

I think it's a wonderful Idea

Med update and friend

It's been just over a week since my meds were adjusted. So far things have been going great. My depression has lifted. I'm not manic either. Being bipolar I'm always nervous when we increase either or both of my antidepressants. More than once have I gone from depressed to manic from a slight increase in my meds. Thankfully I don't think that is going to happen this time around.

My case manager has returned from vacation. I was supposed to get a couple things done last week. When I saw her today I told her that I dodn't get them done and why (depression). She completely understood. Hey it's not often that this happens with me now. I handled everything I needed to and kept out of trouble. That's good. If it were a couple years ago... let's not think about it.

On the other hand, one of my friends ended up in the hospital. She got out today thankfully. I went up to see her yesterday though. It was funny though. Since I had been on the unit at one time, there was a question as to wether or not i could visit. It's been 4 years people. Yes I can. Your limit is 1 year minimum. I lived up to my nickname of "Trouble" though. They wouldn't let my friend have chocolate. Visitors can't bring food (even if prepackaged and unsealed) from the outside in.

Now, I had been a frequent flier there so I know the routine. There are some things that you don't forget in 4 years. So I brought my friend books (allowed). They didn't know though that I had a chocolate bar in my bra. While my friend and I visited I snuck the chocolate out of my bra (even was able to block the camera with my bag) and into my coat. I then left my coat with her. A bunch of the staff that was on yesterday knew me so we got to chat too. They forgot all about the coat apparently and she was able to enjoy the chocolate. That's how my friend and I lived up to our nicknames of "Trouble and Double Trouble". Ok I understand the unit's logic, but sometimes it goes too far and you just have to bend the rules.

So I'm doing better, back to my usual mischief making self. My friend is doing the same.

Bat Season Continues

Yep, I has yet another creature this morning. I woke up around 2 this morning to go to the bathroom. Walking through the kitchen, I saw something fly by. I thought it was a moth. I should have known better. Went to the bathroom then went back to bed.

I was in bed for just a few seconds and heard a flapping noise. I lay there saying to my self "It can't be...It just can't be." Once I heard it again I looked and saw something fly by and turned on the light. Yep, I had a bat. Cliona who was on the fool of my bed decided to give chase.

They went into the hall. THe bat came back and I shut the door. Succeeding in shutting the bat and I in my room. Cliona ran into the door and Meowed like crazy to get in. Rememnbering my landlord telling me to open my windows (screens) in this event the last time I crawled out of bed and did just that. Then crawled across my room for a towel, then back near the window. I then spent 30 min cowering while my little guest flew around my room. Finally it went out the window.

I don't want any more this summer.

Load off the Shoulders

I had my med eval yesterday (Monday). I periodically meet with the APRN that prescribes my psych meds to make sure that everything is going well. I've been stable on them for a while (couple years) and haven't needed any adjusting. They (nurse and staff) also know my well enough to know that I'll yell if anything is going on and if I feel an adjustment is needed.

This appointment couldn't have had better timing though. I didn't have to set an appointment up. It was already made. THat's what I meant in the menaing department. I've been depressed for the past few weeks. It's been getting worse too. I would have said something sooner if I didn't think it was hormones. Also it's manageable. I spoke up today and we've increased one of my meds. I sure hope this does it and it doesn't mean having to find a new one.

Well, off to play with the cat (sleepless here).

Water Dilemma

He he he he. What's worse that it being hazy, hot (90+ degrees out), humid, and an air conditioner that doesn't cut it? Not being able to take a shower. At least for me the past day.

It all started yesterday evening when my landlord brought dinner to the shop. He mentioned that there was a leak in the basement. Between my depression and migraine I managed to forget about it. So I get home and all I want to do is take a shower. Noone tells me that you can't sue the shower so I take one. A nice, long, cold one. It helped with my migraine.

Well as soon as I step out I hear my landlady's granddaughter calling up the stairs to me. I ask her to come back up in a minute as I'm in the bathroom. That's when I get told, "Don't use the water. It's spraying all over the front yard!" I sak "Ok!" and think Oops. Guess I gave a couple people a shower. half an hour later I get word that I there's no water for the night. I can deal with that. THis morning the same. The water was back tonight. To make things a little more amusing, or not, it wasn't regular water, but sewage!!

I Want Out!

I've had it with the week. Actually the month. It's just been one of those months. More bad news and frustrations than good.

In things regarding knitting things are going well. Cliona's behaving for the most part. If it's not related to that, it seems to be bad news or fustration.

Can I scream yet?!?!?! I'm actually contempating asking for an increase in a medication. I've had that type of a month.

Is this week over yet?

I've had it with this week already. It wasn't only almost spraining my ankle today not once but 3 times that did me in.

It was more seeing the guy that molested me back in 2001 while we were patients in the hospital on the same unit. On top of that the staff at the hospital treated me like it was my fault. Took my privleges away and let him keep his. I can handle that. It was him saying "Do you remember that night?" to me when he saw me today. That just sent my week over the edge. I didn't say anything to him before he said that to me or after.

On the bright side, DBT is over. Someone please speed the week up though so it's Friday night and the weekend is here.

2007 Bat Season Has Officially Begun Here

Yep, it's late July, and bat season has started as of lass than 30 minutes ago. What am I rambling about? In case you don't know/remember about last year, I had several Bat adventures. Yes the winged creatures. They varied from me running down to my landlord and landlady for help, to very close encounters with bats such as having one land on me. So, A short time ago I'm sitting here on my bed, minding my business, surfing the net, when all of a sudden a bat flies from the hall into my room. Needless to say I'm startled (understating it a bit) when the creature comes back towards me and flies not 3 feet from me and Cliona. She runs into the Living Room while I scream. Somehow I manage to get out of bed, put shorts on and get downstairs. All while knowing it's rather late to be bugging my landlord and lady.

When I get to them I apologize about the time. They also know if I'm down to see them at this time of night it's gotta be something major (or winged). I then tell them I have an unwanted winged creature upstairs in my bedroom. THankfuly my landlord came up to handle it. Man are my landlord and lady great people. Especially to put up with a tennant coming to them a bit after 11 at night aver a bat.

TGIS after the Past couple Weeks

Sigh! I'm more for Saturdays than Fridays hence TGIS rather than TGIF. The past couple weeks have been non-stop. Heck last Sunday I thought it was Monday it was so non-stop. I've been out looking for a job with my employment specalist on Mondays. THankfully there was no group a week ago Tuesday. I did watch the shop that night though. THe next day was a marathon meeting day.

My friends and I are working on a new Self-Injury Awareness project. THe first meeting regarding that was a week ago Wednesday. It was me, 2 friends, a very nice woman who contacted me through my website, and a staff member form the LMHA. We came up with quite the list of things to do and people to contact for support. Right after that was the CAB meeting where we had a training. You can throw in a media training the next day as well as watching the shop again at night. Friday there was something that I can't remember as well as family visiting.

Saturday was the usual Stitch n Bitch. Then housework and laundry as my place was a mess and i had no clothes. Needless to say I needed SUnday to sleep once I figured out what day it was to prepare for this week.

Monday was more of the same for Mondays. I had enough to do for the week that I needed to get out of my usual Tuesdays so I could go grocery shopping with my friends and run more errands. Remember having no car makes errands take longer. Also the city was having it's 4th of July festivities that day so I stopped at the marina to see how my firends were doing at their table. You can throw in going to the fireworks that night.

My neighbor was nice enough to invite me to go along with him (no romantic prospects) to the movies on the 4th. We saw Pirates of the Carribean 3 at the Providence place Mall. Hence me discovering the hand dryers in the rpevious post. Yesterday involved me walking all over town in flip flios and 90 degrees out between appointments and errands when the bus wasn't nearby or expected soon. I was going for 6 hours.

I was more than happy for this morning and an extended knitting group. Also a quieter week this upcoming week. Phew!

Coolest Hand Dryer!

You have to check this site out. It's the coolest hand dryer I've ever seen and used. They have it over at the Providence Place Mall. Talk about drying your hands fast!

http://www.dysonairblade.co.uk/what/how/?sinavtype=inpage

What a month

And It's only 2/3 through. Cliona has peed on my Wool Handknit Aran sweater that dad brought back from Ireland in 97 because she didn't like the cat litter I bought. I've done battle with the local library and won (long story I will tell at another time). I have a new Self-Injury project launching soon with the help of other people. It started through someone contacting me through my website. THe website has been updated. Gahhhhhhhh.

One of those rollercoaster weeks

It was busy, happy, and sad. All in one week. Oh and throw in a tad of some Irish temper getting fired up.

For the sad, my firends have 2 Alaskan Malamutes. One is a puppy and the other is 8 1/2 years old. Around the middle of May, Nikita, the 8 1/2 year old suddenly became extremely ill. After much testing it turned out that she had lymphoma. She started chemotherapy. Within a week of her first chemo dose she started having a problem with the leg that they gave the chemo in. At first the vets said it was an infection, then gangrene, then thy didn't know what it was. It was thought that they had it under control and getting better. It was still a mystery though as to what she had. Well Wednesday night it got real bad and she had to go back to the vets. She was too far gone and she was put down Thursday afternoon. The cancer didn't get her...it actually was in remission...the infection got her. We all miss her naturally. Aponi, the puppy, is really distraught though. Today she got a suprise...she has a new friend to play with. My friends got a new puppy to help Aponi get through the loss of Nikita. Aponi has never been alone, so hopefully this will cheer her up.

For the busy, I spent last sunday at my Mom Debbie's. While there i got to see Mom Debbie's Significant other. Paul and her have been together for over 10 years, but don't plan on getting married. My state doesn't do common law marriages. I also got to see one of my Aunt's, her boyfriend, 2 of his grandkids, 2 of my cousins, and my grandmother (i call nanny). I got to see nanny for the first time in 4 years a week ago yesterday. for Paul, my Aunt and cousins it was my first time seeing them in 4 years. For my Aunt's boyfriend and his 2 grandkids it was my first time meeting them. We all had fun and lots of laughs.

Yesterday Mom Debbie and my Aunt came down to see me. They brought me a stereo and Bureau. Yay!!! For the first time in years I have a bureau to put my clothes in. For the past few years I've had to hang everything that won't fit on shelves. THis means that cliona will get to have a new hising spot by the end of the month too as I'm getting another one for linens.

As if that didn't keep me busy enough, I has a table at a Self-Help Resource Fair Wednesday regarding the Dichroic Glass pendants I make. I also had a hand in another table as 90 - 95% of the information they had at the table is stored here at my place.

I sure hope next week is quieter.

Fruits for me to Avoid Or Else

Armadillo Fruit -- Chrysophyllum soboliferum
Arrowroot -- Canna edulis
Avocado -- Persea americana
Banana -- Musa acuminata
Banana Passion Fruit -- Passiflora mollissima
Blue Passion Flower -- Passiflora caerulea
Breadfruit -- Artocarpus altilis
Camellia -- Camellia pitardii
Carob -- Ceratonia siliqua
Cattley Guava -- Psidium cattleianum
Ceylon Gooseberry -- Dovyalis hebecarpa
Chico Sapote -- Makilkara zapota
Chilean Guava -- Ugni molinae
Coconut -- Cocos nucifera
Costa Rican Guava -- Psidium friedrichsthalianum
Dragon Fruit -- Hylocereus undatus
Egg Fruit -- Pouteria campechiana
Golden Kiwi -- Actinidia chinensis
Grape Leaved Passion Fruit -- Passiflora vitifolia
Green Sapote -- Pouteria viridis
Guarana -- Paullinia cupana
Guava -- Psidium guajava
Hardy Kiwi -- Actinidia arguta
Horse Mango -- Mangifera foetida
Kiwi -- Actinidia chinensis
Koa Haole -- Leucaena leucocephala
Lemon Guava -- Psidium cattleanium lucidum
Mamey Sapote -- Pouteria sapota
Mamoncillo -- Meliococcus bijigatus
Mango -- Mangifera indica
Mangosteen -- Garcinia mangostana
Manila Tamarind -- Pithecellobium dulce
Miracle Fruit -- Synsepalum dulcificum
Mountain Papaya -- Carica pubescens
Mountain Persimmon -- Diospyros montana
Mountain Soursop -- Annona montana
Native Passion Fruit -- Passiflora herbertiana
Oak Leaved Papaya -- Carica quercifolia
Pacay -- Inga feuillei
Papaya -- Carica papaya
Para Guava -- Psidium acutangulum
Passion Fruit -- Passiflora edulis
Perfume Guava -- Campomanesia lineatifolia
Persimmon -- Diospyros kaki
Peruvian Apple Cactus -- Cereus repandus
Pineapple -- Ananas comosus
Pineapple Guava -- Feijoa sellowiana
Pomegranate -- Punica granatum
Prickly Pear -- Opuntia ficus-indica
Sapote -- Pouteria sapota
Sartre Guava -- Calyptropsidium sartorianum
Seashore Mangosteen -- Garcinia hombroniana
Soursop -- Annona muricata
South American Sapote -- Quararibea cordata
Star Apple -- Chrysophyllum cainito
Star Fruit -- Averrhoa carambola
Strawberry Guava -- Psidium cattleanium
Sunsapote -- Licania platypus
Tamarillo -- Cyphomandra betacea
Tamarind -- Tamarindus indica
Tourist Pineapple -- Pandanus tectorius
White Passion Flower -- Passiflora subpeltata
White Sapote -- Casimiroa edulis
Wooly-Leaved Sapote -- Casimiroa tetrameria
Yellow Sapote -- Pouteria campechiana
Yellow Strawberry Guava -- Psidium cattleanium lucidum